Saturday, February 28, 2009
~ 9:16 PM ~
I, solemnly promise that i will do something abt this blog soon! :P
Saturday, January 10, 2009
~ 8:37 PM ~
i guess i really do blog only when im not in good mood. but i guess it only applies to today as the past week has been a nice one :)
feeling exceptionally emotional today though i still put up a strong happy facade as usual...over dinner i mentioned to my mum a few times that i was fearing the start of a new school year... the new year in njc as 08SH206??!! i dun know, i just crapped out that name...i dun like the feeling of surprises and suspense, especially when i dun know what lies ahead. im afraid.
will this yr be another year of just notes, work, and ultra late nights?! i dun want that..i need my sleep..i need my life..there seems like there's so much to do this yr and so liitle time? CTs...SYF...Prelims...A levels and finally enlistment...holy crap!
can i take this stress? what will happen this yr? what surprises will there be? will i trip and fall or continue to stay on cloud nine? considering that i only managed to scrape pass 2008, i doubt the new year will be this smooth sailing after all..
school starts in less than 36 hours and i soon have to face my fears? anyone has methods to calm my nerves? :(
Friday, January 02, 2009
~ 1:20 AM ~
it has almost been a month since i last blogged. plenty has happened in the past month. and now into the new year, have i achieved anything in the past yr. the yr of 2008 tat has come and gone.
it feels like i have only been at njc for a month. the past yr flew by so quickly without me even noticing. come to think of it, lots of happened in 2008 and not only the month of december. 2008 has been a roller coaster year of emotions for me. from the verge of total mental breakdown to cloud nine, what have i not experienced? I thank everyone for all the memories of 2008 that they have given me, regardless of whether they are good or bad. and im truly sorry to those who i have hurted, inflicted harm upon, criticised, back-stabbed, offended, or found me just plain annoying. Now, i shall list all the important events that had taken place the last yr.
the year of 2008...here goes...
January: Orientation in NJ begins. To my surprise, orientation was better than i expected. But i was tortured by the need to wake up freaking early in e morning to get to sch. Traffic jams bothered me for the first time in my life. I never seemed to be able to fit into NJ. then came the O level results, to my surprise i did better than i expected :)
February: It seems that my decision to stay in NJ was a huge mistake. stress started to take its toll on me. family time was sacrificed to complete homework and a variety of activities. Adapting to jc life does not seem to work. Also, i decided to join harmoc. something i never imagined i would. I never seem to regret this decision ever.
March: enrichment week. interesting. but things happened. i never believed i would ever make this mistake. guilt continues to bear down on me. mistakes after mistakes. i started sinking into the darkness...
April: things continued to worsen. I was feeling horrible. No further elaborations seem necessary here.
May: quickly but surely i left for a holiday. i was off to europe. i never knew i would enjoy myself this much. sure it was expensive, but it was money worth it. i love the place. it also gave myself a well-deserved escapade from the doldrums back at home...
June: CTs! Scary! Hard!..totally screwed it...woke me up somehow and make myself work harder. I resolved that sleeping b4 1am seems impossible. weekends seem too precious to be true.
July: Things were finally looking better. I was working hard to brush up on playing the harmoc. My 1st performance at the Esplanade concourse. Octave's the best! or at least the ppl are:)
September: Promos?! they came real quickly! just two months after CTs! started mugging like there was no tmr..mugged harder than Os i think? Though, i think i didnt do as well as i expected, but i think i did my best. Maybe i just got distracted a wee bit=P
October: a month of surprises and excitement! PW was drawing to a close soon and so did OP practices become frequent and rushing of WR! NJ065 will be rmbed forever! i do enjoy the digression we have, though other groups think we are just so darn hiong! haha..=P October 5 was a nice day too. My birthday. Little did i know that so many ppl would rmb my birthday. so many msgs and well wishes...thanks everyone. Cloud nine would be a nice description.
November: Cleared OP and PW at long last. screwed up OP but i shall ignore that. the long holidays begin. and im off to MOE for attachment. it was a worthwhile experience but i thought it could be better. however, im still appreciative of the opportunity:) Class chalet was interesting enough. mahjong seems to be the highlight after all.
December: another exciting month. Harmoc chalet! i guess im starting to know the ppl in harmoc. most importantly, i had a long chat with 2 of the j2s. it was a nice talk. i love honest open and interesting conversations:) and came christmas and the new year. i seem to be moving away from my family day by day. i dun noe..its the thing tat worries me now...
tats it for 2008. a brief recount. so wad does 2009 hold for me? i guess i have to wait and see...
Friday, December 05, 2008
~ 6:05 PM ~
i know i should finally start on my homework. i have to. but i just cant.
sometimes, everything just distracts you. my heart is not in my academics. i rather do anything but homework. i dun mind even playing my harmoc for the whole day but not homework. i need to be motivated. i need to energy. nope, its not the harmoc chalet tat drained me. i just seem to be tired of everything. haix.
hmm, i wonder whether my hope of leaving singapore will come true. i mean i wont know when i'll ever get enlisted so i guess this will be my last holiday b4 i cant leave the country. they gave me the hope of hong kong...now it has become batam/bintan...so am i leaving the country or not?!...crap!
emo-fied...
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
~ 3:54 PM ~
haix...i think i worry too much...is worrying a disease? if it is i think im terminally ill with AWDS or acute-worrying-dramatically-syndrome. NOPE..DO NOT CONFUSE IT WITH AIDS! haha...i need medication...i need it fast!...:(
Monday, November 24, 2008
~ 8:45 PM ~
i saw this quiz thingy on yeun see's blog so i wanted to see how accurate it is. haha...
Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. (Really?!..oh my tian!!!) When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. (I DO?!...im surprised!) In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates. (who are you kidding?!...plenty of dates?!...what a joke!)
Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.
Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.
*************************************
Damn it...im down with a freaking sore throat again!...its frigging irritating lar...wad a mood spoiler!
Sunday, November 16, 2008
~ 9:34 PM ~
I guess old habits die hard. I always liked taking the bus with my grandparents when I was just a kid. Yes, even though the bus journey from bukit panjang to tampines is one tat causes your butt to grow mushrooms, I still took the long ride on 67. I dun understand why I have this crazy liking to take buses but i think it is my habit to go into deep thoughts when im on a bus that i like. Again, for the unknown number of times in a row, I was into my thinking mode.
Why are humans so complicated? Why are we so inquisitive? If everyone was much simpler, we wouldnt have to guess wads on e minds of other ppl. We wouldnt need to worry abt anything. We wouldnt need to do things to kill our worries. For example, if e US had not thought and start to worry tat Iraq had WMDs, there would not have been a Iraq war. Obama might hence have not won the election.
Why did God make us the superior beings on this planet? Why can't we be like other animals tat hunt down their own food and roam in the wild? If tat was the case we wouldnt be on our way to destroying our own planet. Why are we e only beings to have emotions then? If we didnt have feelings, we would have beeen able to save on lots of unecessary stress. Peace would have been guaranteed. On a smaller scale, even family arguments will be eliminated. Somehow, im starting to think that a world without emotions could possibly be better than one with emotions. Im letting my emotions control my every action. My fears. They grow larger with each passing day. The nights are getting more painful. I need someone to talk to. I need advice. My unaanswered questions balloons while i continuously fail to find the answers to my own questions.
